Please read this testimony from a fellow shipper of Faith City daily prayer line.
Greetings Brothers and Sisters,
It is an honor and a pleasure to share with you today. First, I’d like to say that I love God. I come from a C.O.G.I.C. background so, you couldn’t beat me saying that I knew Him. Question is, did I? My religion told me I did. I prayed, fasted, sang in the choir, went to church on Sunday, Bible study and I could parrot the bible with the best of them. By no means was it in my soul. I talked it, but didn’t walk it. Our walk with God is a journey and I don’t think we can truly know Him within until we reach our road to Damascus. That’s when we are totally broken and that brokenness leads us straight to the Father, then He becomes real and transformation begins.
Saints, He’s asking for a total commitment (intimacy). On Nov. 28, 2010 my son was called home, at the age of 22, 2 weeks before his 23rd birthday. That was my Damascus road and I tell you everything in me was broken. (Broken is an understatement). The pain was so deep; I wished my own death. I just didn’t think that I would survive, literally and I became so angry with God. I started to form a hatred for Him, I dammed Him, how could He? They kept me sedated for the first 3 days, but in my moments of lucidness all I could say was “Oh God, Oh God” with the most venom and vileness that anyone could feel. “Oh God” was not a cry for help, but a cry of disgust and defeat. On that third day, because of all that religion I had been living, God pricked my heart. The Holy Ghost said, “If you don’t get out of bed and go tell God that you love Him, you will be lost”. My answer was “What lord, Do what?”
Now, let me tell you, in my heart I didn’t feel it. But I got out of bed, made my way to the bathroom, sat down and looked to the heavens. And I’ll never forget; it was the hardest yet the easiest thing I’ve ever done when it comes to being obedient. With a shattered heart and wavering faith, tears rolling down my face and lips trembling, I spoke these words, “Although my heart is broken in a million pieces, I still love you and I still trust in you , and as a result of my act of obedience a heavy weight was lifted, I could truly feel God carry my cross. It was quite an experience.
With that being said our walk with Him is a process. For example, I got up daily and joined a daily prayer line. Yet I still hadn’t completely made Jesus the lord of my life. I still drank wine from time to time, told what the world calls little white lies, and I was very defensive about it.
My mom has been very instrumental in my spiritual growth, not to say that it was always welcomed or appreciated. She’d ask me things like “Are you still drinking wine,” “Are you reading your bible,” and “Are you seeking his face”. I’d get fuming mad resulting in me saying things like, “You need to worry about your own salvation and let God save me.”
One day, while on the prayer line, I heard a teaching on Judas and Jesus. Judas walked and talked with Jesus every day, only addressing Him as master or Rabboni, which means teacher but never acknowledging him as LORD. Judas continued treating Jesus as a commoner, a peer and not his LORD. That’s why he could betray Jesus. Judas never took Christ totally in his heart as LORD! What a revelation!
When I took inventory of my own walk, I too walked and talked with Him daily, but He was not truly Lord of my life. He had freely given His life for me yet I wanted only to give Him bits and pieces of me. God spoke to me and said “I want all of you.” He began to change me, melt the ice, tear down walls, break strong holds, and shed layers. Yes, I’m still a continuous work, but with a willing heart, longing, and desire, I’ve finally reached a point that I’d do anything to please Him. Correction, observations, and words of wisdom don’t hurt. I no longer see them through the eyes of condemnation or think that people, (especially my mom) are coming against me. I can receive now because I have truly made Him Lord of my life. I am willing to go where he says; Let go of behavior that keeps me from growing. I am pursuing Him with passion and earnest zeal and I’m excited about His promises.
Beloved, understand that although the bible is our road map, every word is true, but there are instructions and requirements to receive them. God has a plan and a purpose for me. Just a closer walk with thee, grant it Jesus, hear my plea. Daily walking close to thee, let it be, dear lord let it be.
God Bless you
Note: It is time for those who are hurting to return to Jesus. (Luke 13:10-17) How long have you been bent in pain, shame, depression, anger. Woman thou art loosed this day!
Dr. Syvilla Pristell, senior apostle
NC – US National Prayer Director
Azusa Street Apostolic Network